Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

James Webb telescope ups the odds that 'city-killer' asteroid 2024 YR4 will hit the moon in 2032 - Live Science

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

Why can’t Trump campaign on the real issues facing America rather than insulting the character of VP Harris? Does MAGA actually believe this tactic will work?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Any straight men had a gay experience in the past? What was it and how did you feel?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why do flat earthers exist?

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Has a psychic ever made a crazy prediction that turned out to be true?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Have you ever had sex with your husband's friend in front of your husband? Please tell about it and elaborate.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why do flat Earthers still exist even though it is scientifically proven that the Earth is spherical?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Beef cattle disease found in southeast Iowa herd, first time seen in state - weareiowa.com

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Costco opens a whole new kind of store - TheStreet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What is every dictators biggest fear?

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What makes you think that former U.S. President Donald Trump's legal team has already been laying the groundwork for an appeal in the hush money trial?

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Honestly! Do you people actually watch all that nonsense produced by the nitwit network television stations or do they just claim you do?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light